


Warmth

by visi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, F/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26952139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/visi/pseuds/visi
Summary: As soulmates, you are supposed to be in love with Atsumu Miya. But when he holds your hand in his, you don't feel any of those legendary soulmate sparks.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 174





	Warmth

* * *

_Take my hand and I promise you'll never be alone._

* * *

In this world, it's considered fortunate to meet your soulmate at a young age.  
  
You meet Atsumu at age five. Your parents tell you that before you meet your soulmate, something in your chest will always be drawing you towards them. An invisible string that tugs the both of you closer together. And when your hands touch, they'll take on a soft pink glow, the universe's way of confirming that this person is the equivalent of your happily ever after.   
  
There is no gentle tugging from the fates when you stumble over to Atsumu however. What draws you towards him is the messy tufts of black hair that sit on top of his head, a result of the wind whipping violently outside the daycare center. Indecipherable toddler logic tells you that you _absolutely_ must run your hands through it. With this reasoning, you suppose that you just as easily might've been drawn to Osamu but whether it was chance or fate that influenced your decision, Atsumu had been the person you chose.  
  
According to all the stories you've heard, you're supposed to feel _something_ when you touch your soulmate. Sparks, energy, passion, _anything_ really. But when Atsumu's hand flies up to yours to stop you from patting him on the head, you only feel the sticky residue of melted popsicle on his hand.   
  
The glow that emanates from your hands however, is unmistakable.   
  
Excited gasps fill the daycare center. Other kids stumble backwards, alarmed at the sudden light whereas the employees hurry over to you two, squealing loudly. You and Atsumu merely let go of each other and stare at the scene confused. Neither of you realize this is the moment that will allegedly dictate the rest of your lives.   
  
Your parents give you The Talk that night.  
  
They tell you that you'll start to feel lonely without your soulmate and how these types of feelings are normal and very common. There will always be something inside your heart that only thrums for your soulmate, a part of you that constantly longs to be with them. You will crave your soulmate's touch and presence. This feeling is insatiable, although you will eventually learn to live with it.   
  
Most importantly, they tell you that you are very, _very_ lucky to have met your soulmate so young.  
  
Some people don't meet their soulmates until closer to the end of their lives, where the time they are able to share with their soulmate is limited. The earlier you meet your soulmate, the quicker happiness will find you.  
  
When they finish, you ask them if you may have another cookie for dessert. At five years old, the serious tone of this conversation and what it implies is lost on you. In your eyes, you've achieved happiness when your parents chuckle and allow you to have another half a cookie.  
  
But regardless of your own feelings, your world shifts anyway.   
  
Playdates and meetups with Atsumu become part of your weekly routine. Osamu tags along these as well, mostly because the twins are nearly inseparable. The three of you begin the start of a begrudging friendship, the kind that's forced onto you by your parents. Atsumu proves to be a very active child, unafraid of dirt, mud, and any other obstacles that stand in the way of his desires. Osamu doesn't protest either, although he does stop Atsumu from going too far at times.  
  
You on the other hand, are much more conscious of how the grass stains will soil your t-shirts and dirty the hem of your dresses. For supposed soulmates, the two of you differ wildly.  
  
He tells you he loves you at age seven. You're smart enough to know that his words aren't genuine. It's just something that he has to say since you're his soulmate, the same way you thank people who hold open the door for you and greet your teachers in the hallway.   
  
And even though you know you're supposed to say it back as his soulmate, you don't. You simply finish your ice cream sandwich and the two of you don't acknowledge the moment again.  
  
When Atsumu picks up a volleyball for the first time, you're there to witness his fascination with the sport, to witness the moment that Atsumu learns what it means to truly love something. Atsumu may have met his soulmate at age five, but his first love is without a doubt, volleyball.  
  
The setting of your hangouts stop being at the park and instead, at the gym, where Atsumu and Osamu both train and hone their skills. In high school, you sit dutifully on the sidelines during practice, handing Atsumu the balls that roll your way. When your hands brush against each other, there is no electric spark or magical feeling, but that glow still appears, as if it's taunting the both of you.  
  
Besides Atsumu, you've never told anybody the lack of _feeling_. It was a relief to confess it to him for the first time, but even more of a relief when Atsumu told you that he felt the same way, that the two of you were marked soulmates without any of the sparks that were supposed to happen with it.   
  
It's not that you don't care for Atsumu. Over the years, the both of you have built a steady bond, the kind that inevitably comes along with time. The two of you are undeniably friends.  
  
But maybe that's all you are.  
  
Even in a world of soulmates, Atsumu has hordes of female admirers. His popularity is through the roof, whereas you've always just maintained a respectable reputation. You're not nearly as well-known and liked as Atsumu, but you've got your own fair share of friends. Your circles however, have few overlaps. By the time senior year comes, the only mutual person between the two of you is Osamu and on graduation day, all three of you take obligatory photos together.   
  
In one of them, Atsumu's got his arm draped over your shoulder, his peace sign brushing against your hand, which shrouds half of the picture in that familiar pink glow.   
  
Hours after this photo is taken, you tell him the proposal you've been considering since the end of junior year.  
  
"We should take a break," you announce as you and Atsumu stand on his front porch. The graduation party inside is lively, laughter pouring out of the windows. But outside, there's not much noise except for the light fluttering of the breeze and the chirping of the cicadas.   
  
"What?" He turns to you with a raised eyebrow. Gone is the black hair that had drawn you to him in the first place. Now, he sports a copper color that's on the dry side because of how many times he's dyed it. The one thing that had pulled you towards him had vanished.  
  
"A break," you repeat, leaning over the rail of the porch to watch the sunset. A part of you knows that this is the scene where you're supposed to be aching inside or stumbling to find the words, especially since you're asking to separate from your ultimate, destined lover. But the words spill out naturally. "We're going to different universities and given your volleyball schedule, it'll be hard to find time to visit each other. So we should take a break."  
  
"For how long?" He asks the obvious question but when you glance over at him, he seems to be contemplating the idea.   
  
"I don't know. For however long we choose to do it, I guess." You shrug your shoulders. "I know we're supposed to be soulmates but let's be real, when have we ever felt like soulmates? We're both moving out of the house soon so our parents won't ask questions if we stop hanging out together. We can take this chance to explore, I guess."  
  
Atsumu's quiet for a moment, rather rare for somebody like him. "...with other people?"  
  
"I..." Your gaze drops to the grass in front of the porch. "I mean, I can't stop you if you want to do that, but I just want a chance to figure out things on my end. It just feels like we've always had to be around each other so we never got the chance to figure out what we were without the other, you know?"  
  
"Okay," he agrees surprisingly easily. You look back up at him to see him looking directly at you, his eyes serious. No, maybe serious was the wrong word for it. Sincere perhaps. "Let's do it."  
  
You hold your hand out for him to shake. He accepts. There's no energy that zips through your palms but the pink glow seems to taunt the two of you. Like it's laughing at how the one person who's supposed to be your happiness incarnate does not give you that legendary elated feeling. When you pull your hand back, there's no gaping hole in your heart.   
  
On the contrary, you feel remarkably at peace.   
  
"I'll see you around, I guess," you say, bowing your head and stepping back inside the house, your can of soda in hand.  
  
Perhaps in a way, it might be considered sad. If you aren't happy with your soulmate, will you ever be happy with anyone? If you aren't in love with your soulmate, will you ever experience love? You ponder these questions late at night as you scroll through the _#soulmates_ tag on Twitter, looking at overjoyed faces with a tinge of envy. Even if you don't feel any overwhelming attachment to Atsumu, it'd be nice to experience this kind of romantic bliss. To have even just a small taste of it. You always stare at the pink glows of strangers, wondering how your life would be different if that glow actually meant something to you.   
  
Luckily for you, university provides a wonderful distraction from these thoughts. University gives you your first taste of freedom, first sip of alcohol, and first true _passion_. You discover hobbies and activities that aren't just watching Atsumu play volleyball. The same way Atsumu discovers his first love in volleyball, you find yours in medicine. No longer do you feel like the things you do are only out of obligation.  
  
Even without Atsumu physically present in your life, he finds other ways of being in your life. The photo from graduation remains tucked in your phone case. You glimpse his face on the cover of sports magazine on the store shelves. His volleyball matches play on the television as you pass by. And although you've never had an extreme interest in volleyball, you can't help but linger for a few seconds to watch him play. There's a smile on his face every time he orchestrates another point for his team. It makes your heart feel light. You like knowing that he's happy.  
  
It's around a year before your university graduation that the loneliness starts to sink in. By this time, most of your friends have discovered their soulmates already. Seeing them feel so connected with another person makes a foreign feeling stir in your gut. Jealousy gnaws at your stomach seeing soulmates that have such a strong emotional pull towards each other.   
  
And then you suddenly find yourself going through Atsumu's Instagram page, regularly watching his volleyball games on television, and reading through his interviews inside the sports magazines. You start wanting to thread your fingers through his hair, to demand that he wipes his sweat before pulling you in for hugs, and to fight with him for the last ice cream sandwich.   
  
Only when your mother calls and asks you how Atsumu's been doing recently do you realize.  
  
You miss him.  
  
You miss him so fucking much that he's all you can think about as you walk to class. You miss him so much that just seeing his grinning face on your social media feeds is enough to make you smile. You miss him to the point where you pull up your old text messages with him and scroll through them, just to remember the shitty way he texts.   
  
Maybe you just miss him as a friend. Maybe this is the kind of loneliness that sinks in when you haven't seen somebody in a long time. Maybe this doesn't mean anything at all.   
  
Maybe you and Atsumu had been together so much as children, that you never learned _how_ to miss each other.   
  
Atsumu's next match takes place in your city. The gym he's playing at is just a few blocks away from your university but even knowing that he's in town, you can't bring yourself to message him. It's strange, to be honest. For the first time in your life, you want to see Atsumu so badly that it hurts, but you can't muster up the courage to send him a simple greeting. You never used to be scared about inviting him over but now, a part of you fears being rejected. That Atsumu enjoys the reprieve he has from you too much to want to see you again.  
  
So you don't. You turn off your phone and slide it into your back pocket before going out on a jog. It'll be good to clear your head.   
  
The fresh evening air feels good against your skin. Summer prolongs the time the sun hangs in the sky, so it's only just started to set despite how late it is. Even so, everyone is inside, allowing you to run through the city streets alone.   
  
You've only been running for about half an hour when you first see somebody trailing behind you. Their hands are stuffed in their pockets but they stare directly at you. A chill runs down your spine and you start to speed up, your instinct telling you to flee immediately. However, this person's pace begins to speed up as well. You quickly turn a corner in hopes that perhaps you two are just coincidentally going in the same direction but when you glance behind your shoulder again, they're starting to jog directly at you.  
  
Your heart pounds in your chest. Automatically, you start sprinting down the streets, wanting to get away from this person. You reach into your pocket for your phone, only to pull it out and realize that the battery is dead. Panic and adrenaline surges through you. The pursuer continues after you, even as you run wildly down a blur of different streets. Nobody else is on the streets, a fact that you had rejoiced in before but now resented. Why isn't there anybody that you could ask for help? Fear drives you forward, forcing you to continue running even though your legs ache like crazy.   
  
Another glance behind your shoulder tells you that your pursuer is still hot on your trail. In an act of desperation, you run straight into a series of narrow alleyways, praying that they'll give up or lose you amidst all the twists and turns. At this point, you've lost all sense of direction, choosing your path randomly just to get away.   
  
But then you hit a dead end.  
  
Your body turns rigid, dread sinking in as you realize the gravity of your situation. It's too late to turn back, you have no doubt that you'll run straight into the stranger if you do so. The only thing you can do is crouch down next to a few trash cans and pull your hood up over your head in an attempt to hide. Your entire body trembles, wondering if tonight is the night where it ends. You'll never see Atsumu again. You'll never be able to tell him how much you'd missed having him at your side or how at long last, you finally _wanted_ him. That after all this time, your heart finally realized that Atsumu was the one.   
  
"(Y/N)!" The voice causes you to freeze. What...?   
  
Footsteps sprint over towards you and your heart stops, wondering if your pursuer has finally caught up to you when you're suddenly pulled up onto your feet and into somebody's chest. You're about to kick and scream when this mystery person wraps their arms around your waist and you catch sight of the familiar copper hair.   
  
"S-sumu?"  
  
"(Y/N)," he pulls back and frantically cups your face, eyes scanning over you. "What happened? Are you okay?"  
  
Tears well up in your eyes before you can stop them. Within seconds, you're crying your heart out and Atsumu holds you in his arms, stroking your hair soothingly.   
  
"It's okay, I'm here. I'm here," he reassures you softly.   
  
"Someone, s-someone was following me," you hiccup through your tears, clutching his shirt in your hands. "And I was trying to run away but they kept chasing me and I-I—"  
  
"Someone was chasing you?" Atsumu asked, his voice becoming tense. His grip around you tightens and you feel him glance around, looking for your pursuer. "Damn bastard must've run off already."  
  
You only continue sobbing into his chest and he relaxes his hold. "Shh, it's okay. I've got you now. I'll protect you."  
  
The both of you stay like this until you stop crying. Once you wipe away the last of your tears, Atsumu says, "Let's get you home okay?"  
  
Still shaken from the experience, you can only nod weakly as Atsumu links his fingers between yours.   
  
You're not expecting anything to happen when you hold his hand. Though your feelings for him may have shifted, the years without that magical spark or electric burst has dropped your expectations to an absolute zero. There won't be any tingling sensation when your hands connect.  
  
As it turns out, you're half right.  
  
The moment Atsumu holds your hand, a surge of warmth and comfort washes over your body, making your eyes widen. Your heart rate steadies and your breaths come more naturally. Holding his hand instantly made everything feel safe.   
  
If Atsumu notices this, he doesn't comment on it, merely leading you out of the alley and onto the main street. He then pauses, making you glance up at him curiously.   
  
"Is something wrong?" you ask, your voice a little hoarse from all the crying.  
  
Atsumu turns around and grins. "I don't know where your house is."  
  
"I can—" Your voice falters when Atsumu lets go of your hand and squats down.  
  
"Hop on my back. I'll carry you," he says.   
  
"Ah, it's okay, I can walk," you say, a little bewildered by the offer. "You don't need to carry me."  
  
He glances over his shoulder at you. "Not a question, (Y/N). You're going to accept this offer. Just tell me where to go."  
  
Knowing that it's no use arguing with Atsumu once he's made up his mind, you hesitantly obey. When you hop up onto his back, Atsumu stands up and jumps so that your legs are securely nestled underneath his arms. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and gently place your cheek on top of his head. That warm feeling washes over your body again, making you relax against his body.  
  
"Okay, where to?" Atsumu asks. You quietly tell him the directions to your place and he carries you diligently all the way until you arrive at your apartment door.   
  
He loosens his arms and squats so you can slip safely off of his back. The instant your feet are securely on the ground, Atsumu awkwardly rubs his neck.  
  
"Uh, I can get out of your hair if you want now. Or not. It's up to—"  
  
"Do you want to come inside?" you interrupt. You know Atsumu well enough to tell that he wants to stay for a bit longer and you want the same thing. He blinks and then nods eagerly and you smile, opening the apartment door and allowing him to step inside.   
  
"This is a nice place, (Y/N)," Atsumu comments, glancing around your apartment.  
  
"It's a bit small, but I did my best to decorate," you say, suddenly conscious of the various textbooks and papers that litter the tables. Atsumu doesn't seem to notice the mess though, walking in and sitting down on your couch.   
  
"It suits you though," Atsumu hums, flicking through one of the books on your coffee table.   
  
You hurry into the kitchen and grab some two cups out of the cabinets. "Do you just want water or something else?"  
  
"Water's fine," Atsumu calls from the couch.  
  
Talking to him is natural. Hell, having him in your apartment feels natural, even though he's never been here before. It's almost funny really, how much you stressed about texting him when interacting with Atsumu comes so fluidly, like the two of you hadn't been separated at all.   
  
His hair's changed. You eye the new hairstyle as you return with the two mugs and set one down in front of him. It's still copper but the style looks good on him.   
  
Only when you've sat down on the couch next to him do you ask the question that's been hanging in the back of your mind since he found you.   
  
"Sumu-kun..." you trail off, unsure of how to phrase this. You drum your fingers against the sides of the cup nervously. "How...how did you know I was there?"  
  
Atsumu sets his mug down on the table and exhales deeply. "I don't know. I just got this feeling like I _needed_ to be there. Like whatever else I was doing didn't matter because I had to get to that place immediately."  
  
You swallow thickly at his answer. "The soulmate pull," you whisper, recognizing what he was describing.  
  
He purses his lips and leans back onto the couch. "I think... something in my body just knew you were in danger. So I ran there and found you."  
  
Every gear in your head turns desperately, trying to make sense of this information. Atsumu knew you were there. After all these years, Atsumu had finally felt the soulmate pull. No, more importantly, he'd actually listened to it. He'd disregarded whatever he'd been doing and sprinted to you.  
  
Learning this information gives you a small dose of courage. Just enough for you to blurt, "I missed you."  
  
"Huh?" Atsumu stares at you in shock.  
  
"I missed you," you say, looking down at the ground. Your cheeks burn. This is the first time that you've ever confessed something like this and embarrassment is barely covers what you're feeling. "I...really missed having you around."  
  
You brace yourself for him to tease you but instead, Atsumu surprises you with, "Me too."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I got really depressed when I first left home, y'know? And I just thought it was homesickness or whatever and it'd pass eventually but then I went home and I was still feeling it. So I thought about it for a bit and asked myself what was different about home and then I got it. It was because you weren't there," Atsumu says nonchalantly. You on the other hand, are completely flabbergasted. "I don't know, you feel like home. Or homely, I guess."  
  
"Did you feel it?" you ask, looking back at up at him.  
  
"Feel what?"  
  
"When you held my hand...it felt really warm. And safe. I don't know, it just felt really comforting somehow," you admit, staring at the hand that had held Atsumu's.   
  
"It's always been like that," Atsumu replies. "For me at least."  
  
"Really?" Your head spins.   
  
"You've always felt safe. That's probably why I got so homesick without you around."  
  
You rack your memories, digging through every instance where Atsumu had held your hand. You'd always been searching for the spark, the _zip_ feeling that your parents had described. But holding Atsumu's hand hadn't provided that. It'd been a different feeling.  
  
 _Warmth_.  
  
"Then...why'd you agree to take a break then?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows.  
  
"Like you said back then. You wanted to go off and explore things by yourself and you'd always been by my side so I thought it wasn't my place to stop you if you really wanted to go off on your own," Atsumu says. He then bites his lip, as if considering whether he should say something else. "I just wanted you to be happy."  
  
Your heart swells up inside your chest. _He wanted you to be happy. He'd missed you. He thought your touch felt like home._  
  
"Sumu-kun," you say, setting your cup down on the table next to his.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Before you can chicken out, you grab the collar of his shirt and tug him towards you. His eyes widen but Atsumu catches on quickly, bringing his hands up to cup your face and allowing his lips to meet yours.  
  
The instant his lips connect with yours, the warmth from before envelops your body again. You find yourself arching into his touch, your hands winding their way into his hair as he slips both hands underneath your thighs and hoists you onto his lap. His lips taste addictingly sweet. They're soft too. You find yourself getting lost in the motion, eyes fluttering shut as you continue savoring this moment.   
  
When you both pull apart, Atsumu looks as wrecked as you feel. His pupils are dilated and his cheeks are flushed. His lips remain parted and he breathes heavily, this winded from a single kiss. Atsumu's gaze doesn't flicker away from yours even once. Feeling flustered, you bury your face into the fabric of his shirt. He laughs, sensing your embarrassment and wraps his arms around your waist.  
  
"This shy already? You're so cute," he coos, only making you bury your face deeper into his chest.   
  
"It was my first kiss, shut up," you huff, voice slightly muffled by his shirt.  
  
Atsumu pushes your face back up to look at his and smirks. "So I guess that marks one point for each of us then."  
  
You blink, surprised by this. "You didn't kiss anybody else either?"  
  
He boops your nose with his finger and grins. "I figured that if I was going to fall in love with somebody, it was going to be you, so why bother?"  
  
Although you playfully punch his arm, his words make your heart flutter.   
  
When his fingers lace with yours again, you don't feel that legendary soulmate spark. But as your hands are traced by that pink glow, you feel something that you've been craving much more.  
  
 _Warmth_.

**Author's Note:**

> what's up, it's still vic from quotev! this is just a cross post onto ao3 bc i like the site.


End file.
